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i swear to god I’m such a low maintenance friend like you could have not spoken to me for months and ill still be like yEAH FRIEND HI 

me:  walks into living room
tv:  tonight on how its made
me:  stands in same spot for 30 minutes watching how garbage bags are made


losing an argument when you are right just because the other person is too stupid to understand what you’re saying is probably one of the most infuriating things in the entire universe 


proton, neutron, electron and crouton 


do you ever like randomly wake up in the middle of the night check your social networks then go back to sleep